Watch What You Say

Today's take home lesson also has to to with conversations and saying the appropriate thing at the right time. We all have opportunities to speak our mind, repeat something we heard elsewhere, or tell a story in the conversations we have with others. Sometimes, there are things we ought to say and others that we ought to keep to ourselves. The take home lesson for today is to watch what you say, when you say it, and who you say it to.

I. What

Watch what you say to others. Try to avoid speaking negatively of others. This is accomplished by putting a positive spin on everything we talk about. It is always easier to speak negatively, criticize, or tear down someone or something. The difficult, yet more productive choice is to speak words of kindness, enhance or build up the person or thing of discussion.

II. When

Watch when you speak in conversations. When speaking with others, there is a flow or a cadence to the conversation itself. Having a conversation with someone implies that effort is put in by all involved. Figure out the "right" amount that you should contribute to what's being said. This is different for everyone and is part of who we are. Some like to talk a lot and others very little. Learn to carry on your side of the conversation. There is definitely a time when we need to speak up. Obvious times would be when asked a question or when a response is directly requested of us. Other times might be hiding in the shadows and require more close attention for us to see them. On the other side of this, we need recognize when to be quiet. Give others a chance to speak. Conversations are much more interesting when there's more than one opinion being expressed.

III. Who

Learn about who you are speaking to. Ask about their interests and make a conversation about them. There's nothing more constructive to a conversation than showing interest in the other person. Typically, this would involve asking a question. There is an art to finding out things about others and we all have our different ways. Find a way that's successful and respectful. Some questions/topics are safe and inviting. The weather always seems to be fair game. Some things are personal and should be reserved for only the closest of friends or those we really trust.

This article isn't meant to cover everything. Paying attention to these three things will help us to learn and grow. This isn't everything, but it certainly is a start. Understanding the what, when and who of our conversations will help us from inserting our feet in our mouths, help others to be happy, and they just might make or lives more effective and pleasant.

Disclaimer: By the way, this post represents a lifelong goal of mine. Many of the ideals I've written are so difficult for me to do all the time that I think I'll be working on these things all my life. This article absolutely does not represent something that I have mastered and seek to teach to others. These things are part of what I continue to work on to become a better person.